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New Brother Entry

11/30/2019

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Do you think he gets a little bit of a rush from disappearing? He was set so free and was so independent as a child and young adult. This is a sick way of making sure people care and are concerned. The fact we can't get in touch with him is just a part of this need for caring. Don't get me wrong, he KNOWS we love him and care for him, but he for whatever reason, in his insecure mind he has to do this act to validate and confirm love. THIS is not right, I am just thinking while typing.

But for whatever reason, HE thinks it is okay, even if he says in his sober mode he knows it is not okay.

I Look at what it would be like if John didn't come home and I had no idea where he was. Seriously, I would lose my mind. I wish we were together right now. I'd comb MS with you

Journal this... Start writing now. everything you are feeling, everything.
You will find your anger becomes combined with frustration and then love and patience. When you are finished, set it aside and read it tomorrow. Don't erase. Write a new version. Do this at least 3 times. You will notice your emotions and feelings that are consistent, and you will feel better getting everything in the open and released from your heart. You may not find your peace and your answer, but you will have something to reflect back on when times get frustrating. Your path will become more clear.
Do you think he gets a little bit of a rush from disappearing? He was set so free and was Do you thinkDo you think he gets a little bit of a rush from disappearing? He was set so free and was so independent as a child and young adult. This is a sick way of making sure people care and are concerned. The fact we can't get in touch with him is just a part of this need for caring. Don't get me wrong, he KNOWS we love him and care for him, but he for whatever reason, in his insecure mind he has to do this act to validate and confirm love. THIS is not right, I am just thinking while typing. he gets a little bit of a rush from disappearing? He was set so free and was so independent as a child and young adult. This is a sick way of making sure people care and are concerned. The fact we can't get in touch with him is just a part of this need for caring. Don't get me wrong, he KNOWS we love him and care for him, but he for whatever reason, in his insecure mind he has to do this act to validate and confirm love. THIS is not right, I am just thinking while typing.so independent as a child and young adult. This is a sick way of making sure people care and are concerned. The fact we can't get in touch with him is just a part of this need for caring. Don't get me wrong, he KNOWS we love him and care for him, but he for whatever reason, in his insecure mind he has to do this act to validate and confirm love. THIS is not right, I am just thinking while typing.
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