5 more weeks.  5 more weeks until school is over and summer begins.  Seriously.  I can't wait.  I can't wait to have more time to devote to writing my thoughts not out of exhaustion. Writing because I have more than just a Sunday afternoon to collect my feelings.

5 more weeks until I have my house back to just my family.  
This 5 weeks comes with such mixed feelings though.  I am going to miss the smiles and hugs of the little ones I get to see every day.  I will miss their funny stories, catching them having an "ugly butt" contest, watching them pick their nose and see how long they can stretch that booger.  Kids are SO funny.

I went to the mall the other day to get fitted for a bra with my 16 year old daughter.  Now that is an experience in itself.  Where some people may be attracted to people watching of adults or teenagers, I found myself drawn to the littles.  "Oh my gosh, those shoes are so cute!!!  I love your dinosaur shirt!!!"  I kind of felt like Jennifer Garner in 13 going on 30.  It is like in my brain I still thinks like a 5 year old.  I can converse with them better than I can some adults.  That is one of the things I will miss.  Kids have SO much to offer. I love their sweet innocence and am saddened by all the violence and scary things in the world today.  I am happy I can be a bright spot in a dark day for some of the children I have the pleasure of working with.  No matter what happens in the home environment, when kids are with me, it is my chance to build their spirits, fill them with positive, and teach them how to find the good in ALL situations.

18,000.  That is how much we get to pay in taxes.  ouch.  I HATE tax day.  I know I am fortunate enought to have 2 successful home based businesses, but ouch. Last year I did not have a regular assistant for half of the year.  That hurt.  My emotions are so mixed right now. Part of me is relieved it is over.  Part of me is terrified.  Preschool is expensive to run, but the cash flow is SO good. 

I am letting go.  Letting go of this steady income to enter a realm of unknown consistency.  A road few reach success, but a journey that fills my heart with the goodness I want in my life.  I get to inspire, give, love, teach, and give hope.  THAT is what is calming my fear right now (and a little Jared Leto with 30 Seconds to Mars).  I love listening to lyrics that inspire. 
My journey is to love, give, and to lead people to their dreams showing them with hard work, people really CAN do anything they want to.  This is my call to arms...  

I am going to war against all who said I can't.  All who have had doubts.  All who didn't believe.  Follow me, and you will see that an ordinary daycare/preschool teacher/mom/wife can accomplish the unthinkable and live free of schedule, allowing me to be the most amazing "stay at home mom/wife" that I have ALWAYS wanted to be.  Have faith friends...

So, I haven't written in a long time.  I a lot has happened.  I have 1 month and 23 days left of my preschool career.  We just got back from Spring Break and I thought I would feel energized and refreshed.  Instead, I am encouraged by the fact I only have this short time left.  These children are so full of energy and life, but In a way I feel they suck that out of me at times.  I struggle with the guilt I feel with this.