It is almost 3 a.m. and I am sitting in the family wait room in the hospital  My brother had a seizure a few hours ago, shortly after arriving home from an in home party.  He seemed sober.  He seemed like he was just tired.  Little did I know, he had drank before we left for the party and then snuck alcohol at the gas station, then had 2 shots of whiskey when we got home.  15 minutes later, he was seizing. 

They say this is from withdrawal. That at his state of the disease going just a few hours without a drink can bring on a seizure.  A few hours...  This is far as I got that night.  My life has been a little different since then but I am not going to write about it now. 

Last night I had a realization. After talking to Taite about her view of God and feeling I had failed her  in some way, it occurred to me I had not. 

I have always taught my kids to be kind and good. To do good deeds for others.  Be selfless in actions, and to overall just be a good person. 

When we were discussing mission trips and Taite said she does not want to do something like this because God is telling her to, she wants to do something like this because SHE wants to. She lives her life wanting to be kind and good and I GAVE her that. I taught her that. 

So, whether she believes or not, she is going out in the world to do good and if she doesn't recognize it as sharing God's love, I still can secretly do that. 

She will find her way on her own and whether that path leads to a strong belief in God, or just having faith in humanity, it is her path to follow and discover. No matter what.  I am proud of her. 

I want a business that I am able to...

• Run from my home
• Generate $4000 in income monthly
• Earn regular incentive trips
• Sell $6000 a month in product
• Have the majority through Facebook or online events
• Work no more than 25 hours a week
• Build a team throughout the country
• Have team builders who want to be leaders and build their own teams

When I look at that list I ask myself: What do I see, what am I already accomplishing, and how do I accomplish the rest?  

So if you are reading this please know that I have accomplished most already of what is above.  There are so many of these things I want to maintain or grow.  These things have not come easily. IN FACT, most people are snuggling in their beds on a Sunday night watching their favorite TV show.  On the other hand, I have just finished a FB party, booked a party for May, and coached future hosts in how to do things.  I have spent the last few years sacrificing time with my family so I can build a life many people want to lead. The life I want to lead involves everything above and the benefit of it all are these things:

• TIME I choose to spend with my family.  What I mean by this is this...  If I want to go on a field trip I can.  If I want to go on vacation, I can.  If I want to go to lunch with my 18 year old, I can. If I want to spend a day, week, etc.. with my family, I CAN. 
• Money to do the things with my family, WHEN I want to do them. AND not feel guilty about the money we spend. Side note...  We all work hard and want to save $$ for things.  Sometimes we need to look at life and say, "I need to live just a little. I am going to go on vacation and spend what I have earned on memories that will last a lifetime for those who are with me.  We can't take money to the grave, but we can leave behind memories which will last a lifetime. 
• Memories.  This one is huge.  After spending the week with a sweet lady with Dementia and having grandparents die from this horrible curse, I want all who know and love me to have memories of all the good times.  I want them to have laughter of all the funny times ( I fell in a trench), and I want people to smile and be kind. When anyone is feeling sad, I want them to have a good memory to look back on and just smile.