Today is the day of my first dog Rudy's birthday. I loved that dog with all my heart and as much as some may find this part disturbing...Her ashes are in a box by my bedside. She always was the calmest right at my side and I felt the same as well. I couldn't bury her in the cold ground, even after her passing and felt this was the best place for her. 

Enough about that though. I came across a training thanks to a friend of mine. It is a coaching course and when I printed out my first "homework", the title of it is "Knowing your Purpose: Identifying core values, building your mission statement, and re-discovering your WHY". Wow. I have been on a journey for years on discovering my purpose. I have a good idea what it is, but wrapping my head around how to explain is a completely different story. Due to that, I am still on my journey and truly loving every minute of it. 

I don't feel lost anymore on my journey. I feel blessed and thankful for the ability to power through my ups and downs, and keep my faith in knowing my best is yet to come, but the GOOD is all around. 

I don't know where this course will lead me. I need to keep an open mind. I CAN say however, that only good WILL come from this and if I put aside some time and commit to being better, and putting the effort into my own learning, I will find more success. It is a given. 

I am excited, and ready to evolve into more of who I am and who I am supposed to be. 

OMG. Yoda is so wise. Believe to achieve. If you cannot visualize something, it will not be real. I don't believe it. That's why you fail. Omg. If you seriously don't have any vision, you are living a very boring and sheltered exsistence. I am seriousl. Why do you want, not WHAT do you want?  Why... Where do you see yourself going in one, two, or 4 years ahead???  Where and what do you see??? I am so curious. So many don't believe in what you see you can achieve. It is the answer for so many. Open your eyes... and heart....

I am so excited to venture into a new chapter. Every year I choose a word. A word that keeps me focused on what I want for the up and coming year. Last year my word was VISION. I had a vision of growth and consistency for my business. At times I had to keep blinders on to what was happening all around me with the pandemic, but I kept my vision focused on what I wanted and in the end, positivity won.
This year my word is BELIEVE. I feel like this is going to be a word for a lot of people because we all need to believe in what is possible. We all need to believe in ourselves. Believe what is possible, and we all need to keep our blinders on to the negative that surrounds us so we can keep our focus and vision on what we are all capable of.
Write down your goals and put the belief in yourself that you can accomplish whatever it is you set out to do.

Last year there were a lot of changes in all of our lives. We had a little bit of our freedom taken away, and had to make adjustments to our daily lives. HOWEVER, in the end, I had the best year of work of my Norwex career, the most team growth, the largest customer growth to date, and I am leaving with a positive attitude on what is possible for this up and coming year. 
My little family also had growth in togetherness, love, time, snuggling, movie watching, dinner making, game playing, and the realization that our family is close, connected, and we actually all like being around each other. 

Although there was sadness at the end with the murder of Jesse, this year had many pockets of happiness. 

I accomplished the goal of Executive Vice President Sales Leader in July, we had an awesome family vacation to Colorado in August, and we ended the year with our crazy new family member, Timber. 
My family enjoyed Christmas at our own home and had a peaceful and lovely night with mom and Pat when they came after Christmas for dinner. John made Beef Wellington and I made Chicken Kiev. yum. 
This year I seriously need to concentrate on losing the covid 19 I have put on and feeling more healthy and confident about how I look. I know that shouldn't matter, but it actually does. THIS is something I am working on. 

Words cannot describe how frustrating it is to hear about a friend who was gunned down by a crazed sister in law. Seriously. She shot him in the back as he walked away from their argument. It is murder. simple as that. 3 kids and a wife. She said her motive was suspected abuse. WTF??? This lady is a school counselor AND started a peaceful group called Project for Change to help bring harmony to their small town. Seriously. I can't get Jesse out of my mind. He was one of us. He was a friend. He was kind, helpful, and the glue that held a lot of friendships together. He will be missed. 

I feel so fortunate today. I am a healthy 48 year old (going through the beginning phanses of menopause... mood swings... hot flashes...  Oh well, part of getting older. 

I worked for 4 hours today, got my house cleaned with the help of my kids, and went on a walk with the dogs. Again, I feel blessed and lucky. Kaia just asked me how I feel. I said older and wiser :) 

The promotion to Black Jacket is happening. I will make this happen!!
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There are so many times I think about writing and then I don't.  When I am walking, I am constantly thinking I should be talking into my recorder and creating my story. I don't. I don't. WHY?  Obviously, because writing, as much as I love it, is not a #1 priority for me. I guess I would look at it as a side gig.  

I would love it to be a 100% priority and dream about the day I can get up, look at the ocean, walk to the beach, and collect my thoughts before writing them all down. 

Here are a few things I would love to write about: 
1. Jackson as a construction worker. He leads me Canterbury where they are digging up an old road and creating a new one. He wants to walk right through the dirt which we do when the guys aren't there.  He moves me forward so fast I have an endless pain in my left tricep (I actually worry about a tear). He walks with confidence while his sister Lily walks with reservation. She is timid and shy when we walk through these new areas. She lags behind and seems so uncertain. 
2. Actually, let's bring it to Lily. I have been walking with friends lately and also with John. I have noticed Lily likes to walk in the middle of the road, but it only occurred to me yesterday why. I think she is protecting me and whoever I am walking with. If she is in the middle of the road and a car comes, she is my protector. I know this sounds strange, but it truly made sense yesterday.  I kept her on a tight leash until we got to a sidewalk. Then she relaxed and walked in front of Joy and I. When we started for home, she went back to the middle of the street. She is my protector. My little angel. 

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It is the last day of confirmation. The last kid to go through the program.  I am so sad at the moment.  This virus has changed everything and I feel the kids are glad they don't have to be somewhere in person, and don't realize how much they are missing. That alone makes me sad. 

I hope we can at least have our Confirmation weekend where Kaia gets to go through the ceremony.  Please delay it so she can have that experience. 

Feeling really sad right now.  I remember this night for 8th graders was emotional, special, unique, and memorable.  I am just so bummed.